So I FINALLY put up my video that I was procrastinating on, letting myself get distracted from and over thinking about! See, I KNOW I am supposed to share MY experience and I am learning that the enemy will feed your ego with lies, doubt, insecurities and whatever can be thought of to MESS YOU UP when you are CALLED to help or inspire others in a positive way. He will use people and situations to distract you and throw you off. WHY? To keep you from your blessings and miracles and to help keep you from helping OTHERS recieve THEIR blessings and miracles.
See, I feel as if I have had an awakening experience through what I am looking at as a purification process. During this process, I feel as if I had been found in the dirt, cleaned up, looked at, burned, cut and molded and now I am in the process of being shined up and polished to be put on display like a rare purple diamond of royalty would be. (I said this in the video, too.) This is not a catapillar to butterfly type of transformation – that sounds too pretty, too clean – too typical and simple for what I went through!
I RECONNECTED WITH MY SOUL! I learned the difference between my ego and my soul and it blew my mind! Like, have you ever been doing something fun but you felt not quite all the way right or maybe like a “pulling” of some sort? THAT is your SOUL! So whatever you are doing is betraying your soul and it’s trying to let you know but if you are so used to your ego running you, you just keep doing what you are doing and push that “pulling” feeling away – and THIS is how CYCLES get created and repeated over and over! So what happens is you just continue to do these things and it’s USUALLY stuff that you are trying to do to fill an emptiness or some void and it works for awhile at first BUT THEN it stops and you don’t know why. It’s usually because the “pull” on your soul gets stronger and makes you very uncomfortable because it makes you think about unpleasant things you do not want to deal with that are actually the REASONS you have the emptiness. (Like maybe issues from your past like for me, it was my Dad passing on when I was 15 so that made me want connections with men.) SO, your EGO searches for the next thing new thing that is going to “make you feel better” and you just start the cycle over again instead of facing the real issues and breaking the cycle. This is SO common and it does get passed on from generation to generation until SOMEONE breaks it.
This is what I did. I am doing things different this time. I am healing…not just from chemo, I’m healing to my soul! I’m constantly pushing my ego down so I can BE. My ego does not run me anymore. I am not perfect and yes, I still have an ego but I recognize certain things more and more when it comes to being truly authentic and transparent and even when it comes to my purpose. This is just the beginning for me. This is MY journey…It is what I am supposed to share…
Thank you so much for reading this and following me. Like I said, this is JUST the beginning!